Thursday, January 21, 2010

For a change, Mo gets questioned!

Many of you have been a successful part of my Question Series on Gchat. To show my gratitude, I decided to share one of my answers to a recent question from a mate. I was asked, “Tell me about something that you desperately want in your life... as in for a change or perhaps always wanted it...could be anything... a thing, emotion, person, anything under the sun!!”

Let’s see, it is hard to be on this side of the question. I guess I expect my friends to have a reflex reaction to my questions and thus will share my own. The very first thing that came to my mind on hearing the question was a recent quote I have definitely been living by; Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Made me realize, to desperately want a thing/emotion/person rather anything under the sun is doing exactly that. It is basing your happiness at the dodgy chance of success in achieving this artificial goal. I say dodgy, as nobody can assure you of achieving every goal 100% of the time; I say artificial, as these goals whether successful or not will come to an end leaving you without direction once again.

So, here is my thought; Instead of wanting something, striving to be happy or yearning a person’s company,………. Desire a life, more specifically, a lifestyle design. Hold a constant aspiration to define your lifestyle and your goals will line up accordingly. With experiences, this definition will simply keep getting better and your life will never fall into a rut. Also, it is this desire that will last you a lifetime thus not leaving room for a deep emotional crash that often follows the failure of an artificial goal.

Now, how to design a lifestyle? Taking direction from the past couple articles, do what you can convince yourself is right. As long as you are not intentionally hurting another being, your actions will be considered as wrong by half the world, right by a select few, different by the lucky few who have come to accept all as is. If you hold the drive to be different yet accepted, develop the skill of unique adaption. Say what needs to be heard to the extent which can be defended for life and you'll have a smooth sailing.

Lifestyle Design – An aspiration to define a life that makes one happy and restructuring all priorities around this one central goal for life.

Unique Adaption – Adapting to everything positive and good in your environment without losing your uniqueness. People often confuse being social to being a chameleon; someone who can adapt to the people around him/her. Being unique gives one just as much an edge as making the company comfortable by adapting to them.

This is an answer, incomplete without discussion. Help me refine my thought by sharing your own. Comments, rebuttals, feedback highly welcome. More importantly, if you have the patience to hear my answers, Questions are truly welcome.



  1. Not quite happy after reading this...but would just like to say "If there is nothing in life that you can die for, it's not worth living"!

  2. interested by your last few paragraphs. On the other hand, sort of disagree with your start. Wanting a thing or emotion doesn't necessarily equate to being dependent on someone else. This thing you want this change you crave could something internal something personal that only you can do.
    As far as my answer to the question, the material list things I keep wanting make up a wishlist every year ;). The things that are emotional my personal, my mind just does not allow me to think that they will ever be handed to me. I am always aware I will have to work for them, though I might not always do it.

  3. @richa... Am truly sad to see you be disappointed in my article. I definitely did not mean to conclude that there is nothing in this world worth dying for. I was simply refering to such desire to be a result of lifestyle design and not society definitions.

    @rdarga... Would love to elaborate on the last few paragraphs. As for the start, whether its a craving dependent on someone else or from within yourself, do not hold that single craving at the center of your world vs. a choice of lifestyle which is a more lasting goal.

    Also, being aware that our emotions/aspirations are directly related to our willingness to work for them is basically defining your life in that particular aspect. Once all aspects get covered, which will happen slowly over time, disappointment will reach you only far n few. :)

  4. well, regarding the question, I have always wondered how does it feel like to be living absolutely alone and how to manage to love it :)

    I would like you to elaborate a little more when you say--Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket....