Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Taken For Granted

Two unexpected responses to an unexpected question have triggered this entry. My Question Series recently posed a question: Who are the people you are comfortable taking for granted? A general consensus of the responses was, obviously the people who wouldn’t leave your side even if you did take them for granted. Discussions with a few friends however, lead to some very interesting meanings of the taken for granted idea, henceforth referred to as TFG.

To prioritize last the people who are closest, to think of everyone else before thinking of them, to worry more about what that new friend of yours thinks of you from the other night, rather than wondering what your parents have come to know you as after 4-5 years of college far away; Is this TFG? If so, I am sure it asks for certain fundamental changes to be adopted.

On the other hand, another good friend simply looked as living in the moment to be inevitably connected to TFG. The age bracket most of us belong to, i.e. in their twenties, earlier even for a few, marks the beginning of well retained phases of life. Each phase is embedded in memory for its worst and best moments. Inescapably those moments are shared with other individuals; mere acquaintances or close friends, they simply define an aspect of your life that will forever remain with you. Now, as we move on to the next phase, if we lose touch with our close friends from the past, is that TFG?

Whether you live in the moment or are simply accustomed to taking your closest friends and family for granted, please realize that these are the people who deserve your pampering the most. Earlier I mentioned one definition of TFG to be people who wouldn’t leave your side even if you did take them for granted. If I have ever put you in this position, if I have ever taken you for granted, I request you to bring it to my attention. Believe me, there would be no better feeling/time spent than doing so making it up to you. You truly deserve it.

I urge the same to my beloved friends, living in the moment is wonderful, meeting new people, making new friends is blissful, at the same time, pampering those we take for granted is just as delightful and pleasing to heart. It isn’t that difficult either. If you have read some of my earlier entries, a cup of coffee shared, a hand written letter, or a simple email even will suffice. It will make sure that your friends will stick around in times of need or not. They say, a friend in need is a friend indeed. I say, a friend in need is same as any other acquaintance. The ones we turn to without need are friends indeed.

Comments, feedback, rebuttals welcome as always.



  1. Mo,

    You take me for granted.

    If you want to reverse what you have done, I order a ransom of $9274923742349823948723948723925458729875234 wired to my offshore account in Tahiti by
    tomorrow at noon or else our friendship is through.



  2. Shoot - I forgot to comment as "anonymous" and used my name instead lol.

  3. Your saying is clever and I like, but here's some food for eating ... I mean, pondering (and then eating ^_~):

    Maybe knowing you have a friend that will always be by your side in times of need is the role that that friend plays.

    Seems like you associate taken for granted negatively and TFG and not acknowledging a friend as one and the same. Therefore, it seems as though you're saying that not acknowledging a friend is more so on the negative side than not, right?

    Well, what about this: What if you have a friend where you have to forget and keep at a distance in order for the relationship to work.

    I think of my parents first. My relationship with them is FAR more harmonious and smooth when I am as FAR away as possible. In fact, the farther - the better. haha. Seriously. But parents are an easy one to use as an example of this.

    So let's take a friend, I have friends who I see MAYBE once a year. But isn't the fact that you NEVER see them, make it THAT much more special when you do? It's like soaking chicken in spices ... or maybe tofu chicken ;) in spices before eating it.

    Not that I eat my friends... or anyone for that matter. But you get me, yea? hahaha. I think I'm just hungry.

    But nevertheless - YOU ROCK MO!!! AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY ROCKS!!!!!!

    Come visit me in State College next semester and keep on keepin' it real.

    <3 Kaysian!

  4. Dearest Kay,

    Your money has been wired to the Tahiti account in terms of friendship coupons... Funny, they said my friendship alone is worth more than all the amount listed... :P

    I like your food for pondering too. Distance certainly makes relationships far more special, even though that shouldn't be the case. The opportunity to miss somebody allows for the love to grow.

    However, TFG is a lot more than no acknowledgment. Seeing the friend once a year is perfectly valid unless that meeting every year happens only when you need something. Besides, the blog was simply a reason to write to some of those special once a year friends :)... It gave you a reason to write ;)

    For Instance, when I drive up to state college next semester to feed you spicy Indian food it will be completely selfless and I'll be making up for the aforementioned (wonder where I have heard that) TFG towards you ;)

    Family misses you all :)
    <3 Mo \m/

  5. Hey,
    The people you take for granted are the ones who can tolerate you despite ur mistakes, tantrums and the so many "nakhras" that you might have. And we tend to execute our most lazy emotions on them coz we know they will bear that and moreover, pamper us so that w can esclate our feelings on them.
    There are people with whom we have to be in our very best at all times...these are definitely not the most important ones in your life (they are obligated to be a part of your life),and there are some with whom you do not have to be superficial...you can completely free yourself and speak and act the way you wish to without giving it a second thought. In this process, we even end up hurting them at times.
    I somehow feel that people whom you rarely meet or converse it are not the ones you take for granted (they probably are out of that domain
    ). You can be arrogant with your loved ones, fight everytime you talk to them but your heart wont let you stay away from them.

    And with this, I take the opportunity to tell you that you are one of the most closest people in my lives that I can take for granted...I act stupid with you, get angry almost every other second, show indifference at times...but still cant stay without talking to you. And I know that I can afford doing this with you because you take it as it comes...even though you get angry at times...but this is what defines a "TAKEN FOR GRANTED FRIENDSHIP".

  6. first of all good post...TFG..it certainly got me thinking as to the people in my life who I take for granted..and obviously my parents came to mind first..Thats when I realized the truth about your conclusion too. From personal experience doing something nice for these people is really wonderful.

    In some stupid way it also showed me who my good friends were..probably the ones I took for granted at some point, but who still stuck by me...
    Though never one too make many friends It still surprised me to see the total number of such friends
    counting the total number also showed me what a sweet life I have had to have so many good friends...hehe...but also the realization that I dont mess it up!!!!

  7. very well said bhaiya.......dis is the BEST post....i luvv it....can so much connect to it in sooo many ways.....every line....damn!...how do u write so well!?..seriously it makes me proud 2 b ur sis.....awesome bhaiya.....

  8. Tooo deep in it's understandin..

  9. Toooo deep in its understanding....
    awesome Mohs