Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Am I Proud?

I was the first of two siblings to be born in a love and care filled family of Marwari migrants to the great city of Bombay. Our generations past had never visited what was once called Mumbai. We didn’t greatly participate in the pride of renaming it Mumbai nor the ego of sticking to the name Bombay. We are generally considered to be a practical clan adhering only to what affects us directly and staying close within the community. I believe we are one of few societies left around the world that still enforce community beliefs amongst our children irrespective of how much the world is shifting to a solo existence culture.

Being the only child for the first nine years of my life, I was pampered heavily in the family. My requests were fulfilled as demands and I was guarded from the outside world in safety as well as exposure. This came to a sweeping change with my decision to pursue studies abroad. For someone who hadn’t traveled beyond the East-West school ride of a single suburb of Mumbai, seven seas away United States was a distant prospective. While safety was still paramount for the family and guarded with the presence of relatives in my US state of study, the exposure was something that couldn’t be guarded anymore.

Almost a decade later, spent more abroad than home, the return to India was mesmerizing to say the least. While some attributed the return to Pride in India, others claimed the unmatched luxury available here to be the reason. Single chain of thoughts dismayed the punishing lack of civility in traffic while cherishing the spice filled Pani Puris as unparalleled to any cuisine available around the world. I came to realize the generalization of thoughts and the fascination of the Indian masses to follow them. Everyone had the same reasons to be proud of India and the same complaints to follow. Every emotion was reducible to an image share on facebook or a well phrased ‘forward’ on Whatsapp.
 
Exuberated by the introduction of social media, our mass following culture took to new heights leaving behind the political gatherings of the illiterate and encompassing an all billion populous to voice short lived, short felt single emotions. Pockets of collective rage against the current media chosen topic (Celebrity jailed, Rapist punished, Politicians exposed) sprinkled with moments of pride during colorful festivals, Gandhiji’s birthday, or simply while enjoying a vada pav with a friend became the norm.

Yes, I am proud. I am proud not in a measure of comparing India to any other country in the world as one does not compare apples and oranges. I am proud of how a country uniquely survives managing the most diverse and dense populous of the world and still find moments of collective pride. I am proud of a country that widely adapts a language introduced merely 200 years ago in a 2000 year history while preserving the existence of the hundreds of languages from times past. I am proud of how a country’s collective rage still has the power to sway the direction of the country and result those in power also to atone for their crimes.

I was born Agarwal, which is a sub-caste of Marwari, which is a sub-caste of Hindu, in Rajasthan, which is a state in India, which is a country in Asia, which is a continent on Earth to grandparents who would probably exclaim that I have married out of clan if I marry an Agarwal from southern Rajasthan. I am proud that our generation is bridging the gaps in bringing the world closer and hopeful that citizens of Mother Earth will learn to co-exist in peace, harmony and the rightful pride of being Human.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

You and I... In this Beautiful World...

Long idle stares and instant (usually ‘what’s wrong with them’) opinions when strangers cross paths have become second nature to the streets of our city. “Hello” and “It was nice to meet you” is generally the extent of our meeting new people. Over a couple decades of schooling, learning life’s important lessons, and generally the development we reach is to be wary of strangers, keep distance from new company and question motives behind any shred of niceness that someone showers towards us. Is this really healthy?
If you do not relate to any of the statements above, congratulations, you are doing it right. Know that your life is helping change this world infusing humanity one smile at a time. If, instead, something above struck a nerve, it is more than likely you realize this state but find it difficult to single handedly bring any change. Following is an attempt at finding a way to bring about this essential change.
The first and most important thing to convince one of is there is more good than bad in this world. A simple concept, yet almost always forgotten when developing new trust. This apprehension usually arises from the fear of being hurt by people we let into our lives. However, instead of resolving the issue at hand, being hurt, we go on to avoid anything that can remotely reach that point. One case where I do not feel prevention is better than cure.
We often hide behind the comfort of old relations, partners and family. It is this satisfaction that perhaps keeps us from venturing too far out or letting someone too far in. There is one study after another to be found that accurately equates human happiness to doing ‘good’ for others over doing ‘good’ for self. In our satisfaction of life, not only are we accepting the secluded nature of the world but also missing out on all the positive moments we are capable of generating with others.
As for my part and I hope someday you reach the comfort to join in, I vow to connect as many lives as I can. To make an effort beyond the initial “hello” by sharing, imbibing and reflecting any and all positive aspects of people I meet. To strongly get influenced and vocalize such influence which gives people a new insight within themselves. Accept a nice gesture unquestioned and respond in utmost kind.
We have come to be a culture which has all the negative insights in celebrity lives, all the know-how about the ‘Real Housewives’, but little awareness amongst our closest friends. I wish to pen next, a few character sketches of positive influences around me. Whether you find yourself relate to one or more, may you inculcate them all. If it is you I write about, please consider this my honest and glad appreciation to have had you come into my life. 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

When searching for your place in this world...

One year almost to the day, I’ve missed you dear blog. Inspiration, exposure or lacks thereof have kept me from writing. Perhaps a transitional period of ABSOLUTE change, in personal, professional, spiritual, emotional and any life I had come to create for myself, has also kept me from penning to you.

Regained control, revived thoughts and restored goals bring me to you today to share some stark influences of my life. Having spent 17 years of youth, childhood and countless mistakes in India, I hadn’t completely grasped ever what the country had to offer and more importantly, what I had absorbed from it. 7 odd years of my twenties spent in America probably provided a period of better clarity, better absorption; however, it was a period lacking something, something I was only able to truly grasp upon returning to India.

If I were to truly reflect upon the major differences between the two cultures, I’d have to say, there was one I never considered but stood out most. America gave one the ability to be satisfied and content with their life. It showered one with every opportunity possible to make leaps in their career, explore their hobbies and interests and was ever so accommodating to the novice within them. Happiness, however, lay only in the control of the individual rather than anything the land had to offer. For this life also brought with it a lack of enforced societal ties that eventually left the individual in a sea of comforts, shared little with the world while ever longing to do so.

The ruthless drive, constant competition, cutthroat need of survival in India, on the other hand, perhaps wasn’t so rewarding in its opportunities or the acceptance of the beginner, but… It formed a community, a society, and a culture that would never be satisfied in its own achievements. This lifelong inculcated need to excel produced countless winners, countless successful generations, but I question its achievement in creating happiness. Success in the wake of morally questionable directions to create a populated society with a finicky adjuration of its people leaves one, somehow, with a fake sense of joy. This however, gives true reason to the phrase ignorance is bliss.

Pick your poison yourself, as the rest of the world can very well be placed upon the above split canvas. What you gain from culture, what you gain from different lands, will never get even close to what you gain from a five minute story of the stranger who you crossed paths with in your pursuit of Nothingness today.

Stay positive, Stay alive.

Love, Mo

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Ting-Tong...

As the rumors may have it, the day is finally here…

Describing Mohit to Mo is how this blog took shape. Now it’s time to share with you all, a journey that will eventually lead towards Mo to Mohit. The countdown has begun as I move close to a day that has been awaited almost 7 years now.

A wait that involved always knowing that one day it would come,
A wait that involved proving wrong those who never believed it could come.
A wait that was more of a journey of its own,
A wait that brought a life I could have never known.


This day to come isn’t much different from the one 7 years back.

Little did I know of my life to be then
Life as it was would turn boys into men
I came with anxiety and a will to succeed
I came as a kid and wasn’t much worried


The anxiety hasn’t escaped me as I decide to return
The kid I won’t let escape as it keeps me young
Life likes to remain unknown as it did these years
I sure like its surprises as I hold no fears


As I bid adieu to this phase of life, I look for your blessings and love. I hope to cross paths with you in the near future. Whether you are in America, India or any part of the world, there is house that awaits your visit wherever life takes me.

For now, if you ask me why… it’s a simple urge to have the door bell ring and not know already who is on the other side of the door…

Love,
Mohit

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Mommy.... :-)

Shivers of fear... Creep from my thoughts...
Uncertain are actions... To move these rocks...

One thought, so very pure...
Of your sight, always cures...

Peace within, your warmth provides...
The calm it brings, a pure delight...

Smile today... Do smile always...
Thoughts I'll conquer... Shadowed by your grace...

Close to you... I'll always be...
My rock you are... I lean by thee...

Thoughts conquered... Peace attained...
Love you mom... Shine or rain...

Love, Mo
PS: Thanks, Christine...

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

If my silence spoke...

If my silence spoke... It would say to you...
With courage & fear... It would whisper few...

I would like to meet you... I really would...
I would like to know you... The best I could...

In your search... I abandoned words...
You know best... How to break the curse...

In your presence... The rhymes begin...
When you're gone... I scream within...

I am quiet today... For you to see...
You are my voice... My soul to be...

If I know you... As I have come to know...
My silence will break... To you I'll owe...

If my silence spoke... It would say to you...
With courage & fear... It would whisper few...

Love,
Mo

Sunday, November 28, 2010

A friend in sight...

A frown on your face...
A thought misplaced...
Crawling into the night...
Nightmares stuck in your sight...

Comes along a smile...
Comforts your mind...
Battles your frown...
Turns your thought around...

A smile on your face...
Dreams back to a steady pace...
You crawl into the night...
With a new friend in sight...

Love,
Mo

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Innocence of a Mature Soul

A discussion on the guilt of losing one’s culture, a lovely response to my question “What’s new with you, Mumbai?” from a close friend and my recent trip to India have caused me to reflect today. A reflection that concluded on what I consider to be a strong paradox; The Innocence of a Mature soul.

Let’s break it down a bit.

Recently, a friend expressed guilt in loving a lifestyle too much; A lifestyle much different from the one they grew up in. Guilt because they felt they were losing their culture. The movie spanglish, quotes a mother asking her daughter, "Is what you want for yourself to become someone very different than me?". Is it really wrong to lose attributes of one's culture and accept others instead. Should active proponents of traditional India be allowed to stop you from celebrating valentine's? Are you sad when you see yourself speaking a different language more often than your mother tongue? I questioned myself, Should I be guilty too? Am I losing my Indian culture? What makes me Indian?

Now, here are a few snippets of Mumbai from my friend’s response. She says Mumbai has a place for both dwellers of paradise and dwellers of hell. Only that, they each receive just the opposite. Every possible cuisine served in restaurants filled with people wearing every possible fashion statement gives, dare I say, a very westernized feeling of diversity. And yet, traditions thrive, elders are respected and temples filled day and night. We dare speak back to our elders. We keep our religious fasts and maintain our faith in superstitions. Only in Mumbai, would one go to a forced family gathering by day and still be able to go party the night out on one’s free will. Extending a similar comparison to metro cities and other smaller cities developing all over India, I questioned myself again; what does it mean to be Indian? What is Indian culture?

A few days back, I uploaded an album from my trip to India on facebook. I titled it, India Unplugged. I did so, as I felt the pictures shared provided me with raw emotions that held the intensity to shake my world up. Mumbai, friends and most importantly family – the pictures summed up my entire emotional being. The selfless expression of love and the sharing of feelings I felt there, I am sorry to say is not achievable in any western use of the phrase, “I love you” and is unrivaled by any spontaneous intimate gestures. Mumbai, today, has achieved a unique standing in the world, where you are close enough to contribute to a developing nation and yet distant enough to live a developed lifestyle. Mumbai offers you an educated developed lifestyle that makes people live a logic driven self interest life without actually letting you disconnect from a culture that puts people first; People for whom you live an emotional, illogical journey thus completely balancing your life.

MUMBAI is where a mature soul re-cultivates its innocence.

To answer the aforementioned questions,

What is culture? – Indian, American or from any part of the world, YOUR culture is merely what you attribute as your stepping stones. Be proud to have this heritage from the entire world without a shred of guilt of being selective in your adaptations of the one you were born in.

Who am I? – A global citizen of mother Earth, loving every instance of what this beautiful world has to offer, accepting every attribute that applies to me and refining my soul.

As always, I highly appreciate your time in giving my thoughts your time and consideration. Comments, rebuttals, feedback very welcome.

Love,
Mohit Khadaria

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Life

I was four
Life was pure
I turned eight
Life was great

Came along twelve
School became hell
Rushed through sixteen
Keen to find meaning

Turned a corner at twenty
No longer in a hurry to lose my sanity
Will turn twenty four
But not a minute before

Will live a driven life
Not lose my confidence twice
Will live to share
Not settle in lifeless despair

If you chose to come in my life
Plan to be on a unique ride
There are ups n downs you’ll face
Ones that will definitely change your pace

Hope to meet you on this wonderful journey
Look out World, here comes me
Drop a line, if we share a memory
Will help reminisce, when I think about thee

Thursday, January 21, 2010

For a change, Mo gets questioned!


Many of you have been a successful part of my Question Series on Gchat. To show my gratitude, I decided to share one of my answers to a recent question from a mate. I was asked, “Tell me about something that you desperately want in your life... as in for a change or perhaps always wanted it...could be anything... a thing, emotion, person, anything under the sun!!”

Let’s see, it is hard to be on this side of the question. I guess I expect my friends to have a reflex reaction to my questions and thus will share my own. The very first thing that came to my mind on hearing the question was a recent quote I have definitely been living by; Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Made me realize, to desperately want a thing/emotion/person rather anything under the sun is doing exactly that. It is basing your happiness at the dodgy chance of success in achieving this artificial goal. I say dodgy, as nobody can assure you of achieving every goal 100% of the time; I say artificial, as these goals whether successful or not will come to an end leaving you without direction once again.

So, here is my thought; Instead of wanting something, striving to be happy or yearning a person’s company,………. Desire a life, more specifically, a lifestyle design. Hold a constant aspiration to define your lifestyle and your goals will line up accordingly. With experiences, this definition will simply keep getting better and your life will never fall into a rut. Also, it is this desire that will last you a lifetime thus not leaving room for a deep emotional crash that often follows the failure of an artificial goal.

Now, how to design a lifestyle? Taking direction from the past couple articles, do what you can convince yourself is right. As long as you are not intentionally hurting another being, your actions will be considered as wrong by half the world, right by a select few, different by the lucky few who have come to accept all as is. If you hold the drive to be different yet accepted, develop the skill of unique adaption. Say what needs to be heard to the extent which can be defended for life and you'll have a smooth sailing.

Lifestyle Design – An aspiration to define a life that makes one happy and restructuring all priorities around this one central goal for life.

Unique Adaption – Adapting to everything positive and good in your environment without losing your uniqueness. People often confuse being social to being a chameleon; someone who can adapt to the people around him/her. Being unique gives one just as much an edge as making the company comfortable by adapting to them.

This is an answer, incomplete without discussion. Help me refine my thought by sharing your own. Comments, rebuttals, feedback highly welcome. More importantly, if you have the patience to hear my answers, Questions are truly welcome.

Love,
Mo

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Wrong? What's that...


As many of you have come to realize, my blog articles are usually results of discussions/debates/arguments that I have had with one or more of my friends. This one being one of the more popular ones, I am sure many of you have already had this discussion with me. Here is an opportunity to respond with your take for the world to see and view something so basic from a different eye if you haven’t already.

Depending on the background you come from, here are a couple scenarios that you may relate to at some level.

1. You are in India having dinner at home, your family is what some would consider traditional, and a hardcore rock star appears on television. Hair all colored and long (like hooligans as described by mom), music funky and loud (surely from the devil as described by dad), and a kid your age ends up approaching the star for an autograph overwhelmed to even be in his/her divine presence. At this your parents exclaim in unison, “Oh lord! Kids these days have gone so wrong.” Your dad forbids you from ever becoming like that, while in your heart you know you love that star.

2. Today, you went out and got yourself a tattoo. Seems like suddenly the world has split into half, those who agree with this gesture and those who don’t. You flaunt it on facebook as you really don’t care about what others think. However, you refrain from telling your parents and a few other very close friends, ones you are sure disapprove. They have had countless discussions with you regarding how you’d have to live with it your entire life and that when you become old you’d hate to even look at it, etc. You have heard it all and yet decided to go ahead.

Scenario 1, in that room of 3 and country of over a billion you were surely outnumbered to consider the persona of the rock star to be that of a ‘right’/’proper’ individual. Step out in one bigger circle, and soon you’d realize that there are innumerous people around the world you idolize the star just as much as you do and see nothing wrong with it, nor do they have anyone telling them otherwise. Scenario 2, you may be frowned upon in a traditional church or place of worship but you’d fit right in at a night club in any city of the world.

The more I came to realize these situations, the more people I saw living/prospering happily around the world doing all the things I grew up to know as wrong (borderline sinful), I developed a new theory about right or wrong: There is no right or wrong in this world, there is only different. My understanding is that as long as you are not intentionally hurting someone you CANNOT be wrong. I can’t stress it enough that ANYTHING you chose to do you’ll find enough people in the world who think just like you. You may stand out in your surroundings, might get resented for the same, but it is your principles and your life.

That said never close yourself to criticism, opinions and judgments from those with experience as they inevitably should append to your understanding of life itself. If you feel strong enough about your thoughts, be ready to defend them to anyone willing to converse with logic.

Comments/rebuttals/views accepted/requested. I am quite clear about my logic and certainly willing to adapt/learn/defend.

Live... Laugh… Love...

Mo

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Past, Present or Future?


Some live life freely; some never stop to worry; some like me constantly attempt at finding the right way to live life. No matter which path you choose, I write today to stress the importance of doing so in the present rather than in the past or for the future.

People ask you to learn from your past and implement it towards your future. In this attempt, we often forget about our present. Present as the name suggests is very much a gift; a gift that life offers you over and over again, a chance to use it right every day. Choices made in the past need not have any bearing on the present no matter how helpless you feel. Choices you make today need not be second guessed no matter how unsure you feel. Make every decision at its merits and demerits visible currently and then, instead of reevaluating your choice, spend time making it into the right decision.

Just recently I heard a lecture on synthetic happiness. Without getting into much detail, I’d like to present the conclusion of the lecture which said, the human mind when not given a choice automatically learns to love and be happy regarding its decisions and the outcomes of those decisions. By restricting yourself from second guessing yourself, you will allow your brain to inherently make you happy regarding your choices. This may convince you, it may not, but simply try it out and the results will speak for themselves.

Now that we can stop worrying about the decisions we just made, let’s focus on the worries that crowd our mind regarding decisions we need to make. I’ll share a little bit about myself; some of you may relate to it closely, some may have had a completely different experience. Growing up, life was blissful and tension free till about 9th grade. Till then scoring in exams, behaving like a good kid at school, brat at home, not planning for more than a minute in the future was the extent of my life. Until recently, I can’t remember another phase better than those days. I am sure you all agree to the childhood years being the very best. It got me thinking, how to reproduce the same kid in you while taking on the responsibilities of a grown up?

Beginning of 9th grade, life’s so called responsibilities started sequentially lining themselves up. Scoring the very best in 10th grade was important to get into a good junior college. Scoring the very best in 12th grade was imperative for getting into a good college. Doing well in college was so necessary to get a great job. Early on, my focus had already been faltering from the widely accepted Indian theory of: follow a great career path at any cost. After my admissions overseas for college, I had begun to slack in my 12th grade preparation and convinced myself on living a multiple goal driven life. Without losing sight of a career, I focused on jumping the band wagon on the social triumphant happy looking genre of life.

All this rambling, I guess, just to make the point that live in the present, do what comes to heart, convince yourself about your choices and you can convince anyone else. Stop worrying about the next step, stop worrying about the bad phases of the past, breathe freely, enjoy today as it will only last for so long. In the idiotic but true words from the movie Rang de Basanti, “ek tang to past main hai dujee future main, tabhi to beech main moot rahey hai..”(With one leg in the past and another in the future, we seem to be peeing on our present).